I don't want your money I want your love...

Natwest bank adverts. Another source of much frustration and anger. Whenever they come on the tv it infuriates me. I don't know who they think they're kidding. They're clearly trying to position themselves as really connected to their customers, totally focused on doing the best by you, the customer, willing to travel out to your home, the customer, to talk to you, the customer, about how you can save money. Totally selfless, there's obviously nothing in it for them, they just love customers and genuinely care about us. BS. I believe they got in trouble about the one that shows two vacuous women driving around in their mobile bank, talking about how they're going to have lunch on the beach (the way she says "we will" actually makes me twitch). I don't care enough to google the details but they just plainly lied about some part of that advert. I bet that whoever sanctioned these ridiculous adverts probably believes that this is what banking with them is like. Not in my experience.

And exactly who is this cheeky cockney chappy on dancing on ice? Is it really ever necessary to talk like that? I think not.

Bigmouth strikes again

So this evening I went to see a Smiths tribute band. That's a whole post in itself but the focus of my vexing is about a few vile boys in the sparse crowd. There was a man at the front this evening who was having a lovely time. I am pretty sure he had learning difficulties and he was overweight and easy prey to 4 nasty boys. They thought it was hilarious to mimic his dancing and push each other into him. This made me really angry. I hate this kind of bullying. Usually it boils inside of me and I don't do anything about it out of fear that they will draw out knives and stab me up, but this week has been a hellish week and my tolerance is zero. So I tapped one of them on the shoulder and mimed at him to stop being a w*nker. It was poignently during the song "I know it's over" with the line "It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes strength to be gentle and kind." So I pointed this out to the boys and told them they were being mean bullies and to be kind. They weren't that pleased with me telling them off and they started telling me that this man, who was about 20 years older than them, was their mate and what was I talking about. So I said "You know exactly what I'm talking about, you're not pulling the wool over my eyes so stop it, it's cruel." And after a bit more grunting they skulked off. So I feel triumphant in my mouthing off. Even though the victim was absolutely none the wiser and genuinely thought these boys were being freindly. They shall feel guilt at being cruel. Good.

Now that marks the first and last time I shall go out in Bristol. My God. What has happened to the world? In the space of about four minutes I saw a woman pick her kebab up off the floor and continue to eat it, heard a couple saying "It's just a course where you gots to tell them you fink it's wrong to have sex with children, and then you pass it" and a woman fling her shoes at a moving car. I'm now safely home where I shall remain for every Saturday night for the rest of my life.

There are people with problems

Let me just start by saying that there are people with proper problems. I know this. I've known this for years.

But most days I find something that desperately annoys and offends my very being. I internally rant and rave. Maybe writing about and sharing a list of my dislikes will be cathartic, or maybe it will just wind me, and everyone who reads this, up a little more. On the rare occasions when I can't think of anything that violates me, I'll resort to the old faithful A - Z sorting system. But, for now...where to start?

One thing I can't stand is the Everest Window adverts. I have an irrational hatred for them infact. It's the way they deliver the line "I bet you didn't think Everest would be doing that today" in a challenging, smug way. Now, like most people, I never spare a moment of my life to think about what Everest Windows are doing. Nor do I care. But if I did spend even a smidgen of my time pondering "what are Everest Windows doing today?", I think I would be able to conjure up the notion that perhaps they are fitting double glazing windows. Somewhere.

That's just a little taster. There is so much more.